the accident

Dear Sumire,

Hello to you, readers. I’m gonna rant and rave over a few things, because the day before yesterday was just another hard and unlucky day for me. But that very day, I learnt a few lesson in life, be patient and to be able to move on.

It started off with a bad morning. While I was working on the key arts of a new movie poster, my laptop continuously gave me nasty problems. And I was so frustrated with the whole morning. My Adobe’s Photoshop keeps freezing from time to time and hangs in the midway of an important task. Then I thought, “Why don't I save my progress every now and then?” Then things got worse, the software hangs when I save the file. And I have to redo the design over again, from scratch. The whole situation repeats itself, numerous times.

I thought to myself, “Things won’t get anywhere worst than this.”

And I was dead wrong. In the evening, around 4.45p.m, I rammed into the side of a Kia Spectra. The driver was fine, but obviously, his car is not. Looking at the damages of his car and mine, I know I wouldn't be able to pay for any of the damages. So I suggested that we lodge a police report, and claim the damages from the insurance company. Mr. Nara is a very nice man. He talked to me calmly, and agreed to my suggestions.

All the while during the time in police station, I kept apologizing to Mr. Nara and his daughter. I wished I had been more careful on the road and avoid all these troublesome problems. I called my dad to tell him about the mess I’d just did, and he said to me in a disappointed voice, “It’s an accident. No one ask for it. Just be careful next time.”

My crashed headlight.

He was right. No point crying over spilled milk. Just do the best you can to handle the situation.

When I was at the police station, I saw many cars in a very much wrecked form; some looked like a crumbled piece of paper. Looking at those, I can’t imagine if the driver or his passengers survived the crash. It made me realize how lucky I was. The sight of those cars reminds me of my own car when I survived a major crash with my dad, with the car flipping downhill at Pagoh more than a year ago. Back then I promised myself to live my life properly, fully.

The car i saw at the Police Station.

Now I wonder, “What happened to that promise I made to myself?”

The truth is, I totally forgot about it.

The truth is we all forgot. We forgot what is important in life. We’re not living the fullest out of our short time on the earthly plane. If you’re catching up with the news in Facebook, there’s this guy who made a countdown of 45 minutes before committing suicide. That guy made me sick. He threw away his valuable time of his life out the window just because he think he can’t live without some girl who ditch him. And guess what? A sick bunch of people even called him hero, and dedicate a Facebook fanpage for him, like he’s some kind of a martyr. The next thing we know, maybe we’ll celebrate robbers like Robin Hood in the future.

If you will, I suggest you guys read this book by Mitch Albom titled ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. It’s a good book to reflect on life, while facing death as an everyday routine. It’s definitely not a book about throwing your life into the wastebin, but about squeezing every single drop of life left in your soul, even when your body is giving up on life. The book talk about how we forgot about the most important things in life, and got all tangled up with other peoples’ dream. Dream that our society and culture had set for us; big cars, big houses, big paycheck, Gucci bags, skinny jeans, high heels and the list goes on and on. He concluded that these worldly belongings are not things they would make us happy. Maybe for a moment. This kind of happiness never lasted too long. Say, if you’re going to die today, I bet you’d be thinking the same as Morrie; the paycheck, the heels, the Gucci, they just don’t matter anymore.

I don’t know how I could drag on from one thing to another. I hope you’re not bored away by my rants. I just want to pass Morrie’s message on.

“Love always win”
“Love your friends and family”
“Forgive others, forgive yourself”

jin

You will not deserve the second chance

I’d tried to be as positive as I am. And if you’re telling me I’m not trying hard enough, then I will let you hear me say, “Fuck you.”

I regretted doing many things in my life. I tried to change. But life can be very unforgiving. Life is a one way road, and you can never change what you did in the pass.

Never do any wrong thing in your life. You will not deserve the second chance. Once you err, you’re faulty for life. If anyone told you that they’re giving you a second chance, they’re lying straight to your face. You’re not allowed to love, to befriend, to be loved.

Never do anything wrong with your life. Your loved ones will suffer. They will be haunted by the ghosts of your pass. They will forever live in the grasp of suffering as long as they love you. They’ll never be free until you’re gone.

Never do anything wrong in your life. You may be judged even before the judgment day. You will face the eyes of the world. They will despise you, they care not if you’re a changed soul. A damned soul is a damned soul.

To those who’d make mistakes in life. Congratulations. You earned your ticket to hell.

Let me wish you this: “Fuck you, and welcome to my life.”

jin

god bless malaysia

Dear Sumire,

When my mum told me about the church’s arson over the ‘Allah’ dispute, I was shocked. I couldn’t believe such a thing is actually happening in Malaysia. I read it in newspaper all the time that churches are burned or destroyed in many places in the world. But I’m always grateful that I lived in Malaysia where people of all religions could chit-chat while having a nice cup of coffee together.

Are things changing now?

Maybe the ones who set the Molotov-cocktails are opportunists. They took full advantage of the havoc, when the court ruled that the non-Muslims can use the world ‘Allah’ in referring God in non-Muslim’s publications. I want to believe it is not my fellow Malay or Muslims friend who set my fellow Christian’s churches on fire. I truly want to believe that it was the work of opportunist that wanted to raise even more racial and religious panics among Malaysians.

But here are my two-cents. The request of ban itself is ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. The Christians in Sabah and Sarawak had been using the word Allah since forever. Their masses are celebrated in Bahasa. Now don’t tell me now they cannot celebrate Allah anymore.

Our God is the one and the same! He’s the One who sent Nabi Ibrahim (Abraham), Nabi Yaakub (Jacob), Nabi Musa (Moses), Nabi Daud (David), and also Nabi Isa (Jesus). Please don’t tell me to differentiate my God from your Allah. To me, He’s the One and the same. We just celebrate his Glory in our own and different ways.

If the ban of the usage of the word is to succeed, it would mean that some of us could never be able to sing our state anthem ever again, just because we’re not Muslims. It’s wrong, and unfair. Everyone have to be proud of their own state. It’s the place we come from. The feeling have no mind of what being our religion or skin color.

Perak
Dilanjutkan Allah usianya Sultan
Adil dan murah memerintah watan
Ditaati rakyat kiri dan kanan
Iman yang soleh Allah kurniakan
Allah berkati Perak Ridzuan
Allah selamatkan Negeri dan Sultan.

Pahang
Ya Allah Yang Masa Kuasa,
Lanjutkan Usia Duli Yang Maha Mulia,
Dirgahayu, Darul Makmur,
Aman dan Bahagia Sentiasa,
Ya Allah Selamatkan Duli Tuanku Raja Kami

Kelantan
Lanjutkan usia Al-Sultan kami
Sultan Kelantan raja ikrami
Aman sentosa Tuhan sirami
Kekal memerintah kami

Kasih dan taat setia disembahkan
Keriangan diucapkan
Segala kebesaran Allah cucurkan
Bertambah kemuliaan

Selangor
Duli Yang Maha Mulia
Selamat di atas takhta
Allah lanjutkan usia Tuanku
Rakyat mohon restu bawah Duli Tuanku
Bahagia selama-lamanya
Aman dan sentosa
Duli Yang Maha Mulia

Just after months we shouted Satu Malaysia, we’re facing church arsons from some barbarians without any concern towards the peace and understanding in Malaysia. I hope the issue would stop soon. I must say that I love my family, my friends, my country and my religion. And I will never want this issue to harm any of them.


If, you're like me, which is in support of the word of Allah being used by the whole nation, please don't do anything reckless. Just join this group in Facebook [We support the use of the name Allah by all Malaysians], and let us all pray in peace and hope that God hear all our prayers.

If you want to read more about Allah or God; I suggest you read these for a better understanding:
(i) Qur’an: Muslims and Christians worship same God
(ii) Allah

God bless Malaysia,
Jin

muallaf

Dear Sumire,

I thought of purchasing an original DVD if I did not watch it in the cinema. But last Sunday at Times Square, every movie and show time are fully occupied.

Me: Sherlock Holmes?
Cashier: Front row only left.
Me: Urgh.. What about Vampire’s Assistant?
Cashier: Front row left as well. All movies around night time is fully occupied.
Me: Oh.. Ok. Muallaf as well?
Cashier: Oh no. That’s available, AS EXPECTED.

He did emphasize his voice when he said the words which I capitalized. It’s as if Muallaf is a badly made film or such. And he was right, the Cineplex was almost next to empty with only ¼ occupied when I get my tickets.

If any of you haven’t watched this, please do. This is Yasmin Ahmad’s last legacy in our Malaysia’s silver screen. Although Talentime is her real last movie she’d ever made, Muallaf is the controversional movie that could hardly get passed our Malaysian’s censorship board, and thus delaying its showing for months. The reason of the huge censorship controversy is that it’d lots of sensitive issues on religion, and if all those scenes are cut, the audience won’t be able to make any sense out of the whole movie. In the end, they finally decided to mildly cut the film, and muted some of the scenes which they find controversional.

The thing is I didn’t find the movie really religious or something. It sure quotes a lot from the religious books and scriptures, but that’s it. They didn’t really convert anyone in the movie, like the English title might have suggested; “The Convert”.

This is a story of a teacher named Brian whom in some part of his life bumped into these two sisters, Rohani and Rohana whom ran away from home (or in their own words, ran away to safety).

Brian reading the Qur'an.

This is not a religious movie. To me, it’s more of a movie about a lost lamb. However, I must agree that how they portrayed the religions in the movie is quite close to the reality. People leave faith because of the skeletons in their closet. It’s all about dark past. For example, Brian’s character is a Catholic, and I can relate. About going or not going to church on Sunday, and how people yell “God will never forgive you!” to their sons. I saw the situations before (nop, no personal experience before ;-P) and I tell you, it’s pretty well portrayed in the movie.

Brian trying to understand how people can be so devoted to something so invisible.

What’s interesting about this two sisters is that they’re able to quote from the scriptures (the Quran, Holy Bible and even Tao Te Ching) down to the verse and line. What’s more spooky is that they live in a house haunted by “Uncle” the previous owner of the bungalow. And according to them, they’re running away from KL to Singapore, via Ipoh (check your map, lol).

There’s one part in the movie that suggest that people stop you from talking because they’re afraid of the unknown. People stop you from talking because they think you don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s why you shouldn’t quote from a book you don’t truly understand. Yasmin had a point right there. If the people don’t understand, educate them! Or educate us! That’s the correct way of doing stuffs, not simply ban us from speaking!

The sisters are played by Sharifah Amani and Sharifah Aleysha are very caring of one another, although they kept calling names at each other. Brian is unwillingly sucked into their uncommon practice of visiting the sick, and helping others, and discussing about religion almost 24/7. Brian as a man who lost his faith and had found himself might be able to reconnect with God through the sisters. Brian who almost severe his relationship with his mother because of his unwillingness to go to church, tried very hard to understand how and why Ani and Ana cared for strangers so willingly.

oil-painting

You know what? I won’t bable further. Go and watch this movie. Just pay your last tribute to our late Yasmin Ahmad, and enjoy the show. It’s still showing in TGV the last time I checked. If you’re still worried that this movie is controversional, let me tell you, there’s nothing controversional about a movie which revolves around love interest, family and a black cat.

Signing off,
Jin

dear sumire

Dear Sumire,

This is the first time ever i wrote to you like this. I guess we'll get used to this soon.
I am just a person with a thousand flaws, but you forgave me, and take me back into your life.

I know things aren't the same as it was.
Never will it be as naive as it was.

But I have faith that we'll pull this through.
And we will pull this through.

P/S: Sorry for being emotional.
jin