depressed

Dear Sumire,

Recently, I'd been thinking a lot. So much so that these thoughts are back to haunt me. I feel like as if I am pushing myself into a corner of my heart, just to look back at all the harm I'd cause to others.

I'm not a forgiver, so I'd never expect anyone to forgive me. And looking back into my past, there were so many of the people I hurt gave me a second chance. So much so, some had forgave me unconditionally.

All these, makes me feel pitiable. Because here in my heart, I feel like a monster. Mayhem causing monster.

Sorry Lord. I know I promised to be a better person, but looking at myself now, I'm nowhere near the better person I want to be.

I thank the Lord my God for the family He blessed me with, my girl who pull me through, my silly sister, and the forgiving people all around me.

jin